After the IBT training about child development, it hit me what Sworup concluded about our childhood, that we loved observing new things, loved being loved and loved being encouraged. We hated to be scolded and beaten. But now we never miss a chance to beat and scold our children. Instead, we should take care of our children with love and affection and not by scolding and beating them. I asked Sworup if it was possible not to beat our children. He said of course it is possible, you just need to be aware of it.
Again, he emphasized that everyone wants their children to become good citizens. It is not enough just to want them to be better persons. It all depends on how well you treat them, and how well you bring them up. How you bring up your children, reflects what kind of people they get. I was listening very carefully to what Sworup told us. Again, he told us that child development depends on two factors:
- Care and affection
He focused on how we should behave towards our children
- With appreciation and encouragement
- With love and affection
- With warm verbal contact
- Give them a chance to play games
- Inform the children whenever you leave the house
- It is not enough to tell the children why certain things are not allowed, it is important to explain the reason why it is not allowed
- Make it a habit to share everything they eat with others
- Children’s voice should be heard
- Inform the children about your own culture
Things not to do towards our children:
- Not discriminate between our children. This results in development of inferiority complex in the discriminated child.
- Not encourage our children to do work in expectation of returns (biscuits, chocolates, money etc.).
- Not favorize just one of our children. This will result in development of arrogance and pride.
- Not promise children anything that cannot be fulfilled. Later on, they do not trust you and may loose confidence in you
- Not send children to buy alcohol and cigarettes
- Not behave wild
- Not quarrel in front of the children
- Not create fear in the children
- Not tell bad and horrible things to the children
- Not smoke in front of the children
- Do not embarrass children in front of others
- Do not compare the children, this creates competition between the children
Children are normally excited and curious, if they engage in the same piece of work, till they complete it. 75% of the brain is developed when they are two years old. When they are six years old, the brain is developed 90%. Therefore, special care and attention is required during the first six years of a child’s life. To develop good manners in a child, they should be trained every day to help others. It would be helpful, if the child is reminded to help others before leaving for school, and later when they are back, they should be asked if they had helped anyone during the day.
On my way home, all the dialogues reminded me of my childhood, and I committed myself to not discriminate between my son and daughter. Previously, I used to not really give interest in my daughter’s studies. But now, after the IBT training, I always check how her study is going. I ask her if she has any problems, and this has helped my daughter to be more confident, and I have noticed it too.
All the discussions in the IBT training helped me realize that small changes can make a big difference.