May 2022
I was so busy on taking care of my sick mother. At the time, Pabitra came to me and greeted with Namaskar, and said how I am doing? I greeted with Namaskar and replied back that I am having a hard time because of my mother’s sickness; due to her age she has high blood pressure and problems with her stomach. We kept my mother to the courtyard of house from inside making the bed sheet. Pabitra helped my mother to get outside because my mother cannot walk by herself. Then she sat near to my mother and asked her how she is now.
My mother recognised Pabitra by her voice because she knew her closely for 2 years. Pabitra remembered that my mother was fine when she visited us earlier.
Actually, my mother got sick after her 84 years celebration. From then she was not feeling well and after 15 days of that we needed to care of her potty because she cannot get to the restroom by herself. At the same time, my brother came to us. He has a mental problem so he was about to hit me. When Pabitra saw this, she shouted, be careful. For a while the situation was stressful. My mother always says that she doesn’t want to live anymore she also repeats this with Pabitra. Pabitra said that she should not speak like this. But I am very scared about what will happen if she passed away; how do I live with my mentally ill brother? I don’t want to think about that but what to do always come to my mind. I was so frightened and nervous about any bad incident that may occur to my mother. Now she is getting better, but we don’t know what may occur in the future. Sometimes I have to spend the whole night massaging the legs and hands of my mother. I felt within me, that it is not good to call the brothers of neighbors every day. Sometimes, I thought that if relatives or other sisters of neighbors came to look after my mother, then I will be able to get the time to sleep. But my mother wants me to be close to her side. She called my name Durga and asked me to be by her side. I feel proud of myself even in such sickness, she had trust in me. There was no one to support my work, so I have to look after my business, my sick mother, and my brother with mental problems. I felt like I will get sick after looking after all those. But it is my responsibility and duty to look after my family. Looking at my happiness and my laughter, Pabitra says that I am fulfilling the responsibility greater than the son. The work I am doing is commendable.
With the commitment to meeting next time, Pabitra left our place. I look at my mother’s face; she is just lying there, and I look at her worried face.