September 2025
Namaste to everyone,
I am writing this blog on behalf of myself, Dudh Kumari Gurung. Today, I am pleased to share my twelfth blog, which is about the Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Workshop.
When I first heard about this workshop that provides different kinds of training, I felt very excited. A few days ago, I learned that such a program was going to be held in our own community, and I really wished to participate. Since participation required both a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law, I shared this with my mother-in-law. To my delight, she, too, was eager to attend.
The workshop was originally scheduled for September 12 (Bhadra 27), but due to the difficult situation in Nepal at that time, it had to be postponed. I was very disappointed, yet I kept hope alive. Finally, I received the happy news that the workshop would take place on 15th September (2082/5/30), and my heart filled with joy.
On the day of the program, I woke up early, cleaned the house, fed our animals, prepared food for the children, and got myself ready. Since the workshop was being held in another village, we left home at 7:00 a.m. and joined the vehicle with other mother-in-law and daughter-in-law pairs. We traveled happily together, chatting and laughing, and reached the venue by 9:30 a.m. After waiting for everyone to arrive and having our meal, the workshop finally began at 11:00 a.m.
At the start, we were warmly welcomed, and each participant was asked to share their expectations. We spoke from our hearts, and then the trainer (LPL, Local Program Leader) explained the objectives of the workshop:
- Identifying obstacles and creating harmony in relationships.
- Discussing the qualities of an ideal mother-in-law and an ideal daughter-in-law.
- Making a commitment to change behaviors starting from today.
These objectives felt very relevant and essential for our daily lives. To ensure the workshop ran smoothly, some ground rules were set, which I realized were very important for any training or discussion program.
The first activity was introductions. But this was special—we had to introduce each other in pairs. For example, the mother-in-law introduced her daughter-in-law’s name, address, one good quality, and one area for improvement. Similarly, the daughter-in-law introduced her mother-in-law with the same format. This activity gave us the chance to recognize both strengths and areas where we could grow. The trainer reminded us that we should nurture our good qualities and gradually reduce the negative ones. This touched me deeply, and I promised myself to practice it.
Next, we discussed why we celebrate festivals and why daughters-in-law return to their parental home. Many shared reasons like visiting parents, love for family, and traditional practices. Later, we were divided into two groups: mothers-in-law in one and daughters-in-law in another. We were asked to write the reasons why mothers-in-law sometimes fail to act like mothers, and why daughters-in-law sometimes fail to act like daughters. We discussed calmly, wrote down our thoughts—including what we had observed in our society—and presented them.
The key learning was clear: if daughters-in-law treat their mothers-in-law with the same care as their birth mothers, and if mothers-in-law love their daughters-in-law like their own daughters, the relationship becomes just like that of a mother and daughter. It became evident that the way we treat others is exactly how they will treat us in return.
A fun game called Small Fish, Big Fish followed. The rule was that when the facilitator said “small fish,” we had to show a big size with our hands, and when they said “big fish,” we had to show a small size. The lesson was powerful—change is possible if we truly want it.
We then worked in groups again to list the qualities of an ideal mother-in-law and an ideal daughter-in-law. At first, it was a little confusing, but the trainer explained that “ideal” means “excellent.” Daughters-in-law wrote what qualities make an ideal mother-in-law, and mothers-in-law wrote about the qualities of an ideal daughter-in-law. Presentations followed, and the insights were valuable. We realized that mothers-in-law should never forget they were once daughters-in-law, and daughters-in-law should remember they will one day become mothers-in-law.
By then, time had flown quickly, and it was almost the end of the workshop. In closing, everyone made a heartfelt commitment:
- Mothers-in-law promised to forget past negative behaviors and become supportive and good mothers-in-law from today.
- Daughters-in-law promised to let go of past mistakes, treat their mothers-in-law with kindness, and become very good daughters-in-law.
With this beautiful commitment, the workshop ended. We had some refreshments and then returned home.
For me, this day was truly special. I learned so much that I will carry with me always. I will share these lessons with other daughters-in-law, encouraging them to be like daughters to their mothers-in-law. Likewise, I will urge mothers-in-law to treat their daughters-in-law like their own daughters. Only then can true harmony exist in families.
With that, I close my twelfth blog, promising to meet you again in the next one.
Thank you!