Bhawani Damai

My name is Bhawani Damai. I am 69 years old, and I live in Bhanu Municipality Ward No. 4, Chuditar. For the past two years, I have been living alone. Both of my daughters are married, and since my husband passed away, life has felt like a continuous battlefield that I must face on my own.

After my husband’s death, managing household expenses became extremely difficult. The government provides me with 8,000 rupees every three months as a single woman allowance, but that amount is not enough even for basic daily survival. On top of that, I was burdened with debts from my husband’s illness and death, which made my situation even more fragile.

In the past, when I was physically stronger, I worked hard to support my family. But now, my body has become weak. I can no longer carry heavy loads or do labor work. Even working on other people’s farms has become very difficult. I thought about starting a small business from home, but I had neither money nor land. Life was becoming increasingly challenging, and I often felt helpless.

One day, I went to my younger sister Gyanu’s house. There, I saw a few women sitting together and talking. Gyanu told me, “An organization has come to our village. They are forming a group of 25 women and providing 25,000 rupees to start a business. Would you like to join?”

Hearing about groups and money made me afraid. In the past, cooperatives had come to our area, collected savings, and disappeared without returning the money. I feared this might be the same. But my sister encouraged me to attend a meeting the next day and listen for myself.

The following day, I attended the meeting along with other women. The facilitators introduced themselves and explained about the organization and a program called Women at Work, Children at School. They shared how the program supports financially vulnerable women to move forward in life. Although they explained everything clearly, I still had doubts, especially about the contribution system. I felt shy to ask questions, but others did, and gradually things became clearer.

That night, I could not sleep. My mind was full of questions; what if I could not repay the loan, what if I faced problems again? Fear and uncertainty made me restless.

The next day, the facilitators visited my home. I felt shy inviting them into my small, simple house, but they sat with me comfortably and spoke kindly. They explained everything again, and this time I understood better. I shared my situation openly, even painful memories of my husband’s behavior—his drinking, violence, and the hardships I had endured. Speaking about these experiences made my heart feel lighter, as if I was talking to my own daughters.

When they asked about my business plan, I shared that I wanted to raise goats, as I could not do heavy labor. They supported my idea and encouraged me to move forward.

Soon after, we gathered again for another meeting where we discussed wealth ranking. I learned about different economic categories such as ultra-poor, poor, medium, and well-off. Realizing my own situation was painful. I felt emotional, wondering what others might think. But when the facilitators announced that everyone present was selected for the program, my heart filled with happiness. It felt like a blessing had entered my life.

Not long after, the 7-day training began – something I had been eagerly waiting for. On the first day, I woke up early, completed my daily chores, and went to the training with excitement and nervousness.

The training started in a unique way. Instead of introducing ourselves directly, we paired up using proverbs and introduced each other. This was completely new to me. I had never spoken in front of so many people before – not even confidently saying my own name. Now I had to introduce someone else. My heart was full of fear, but somehow, I managed to speak. Despite my nervousness, I enjoyed the activity because it helped us understand each other more deeply.

As the days passed, we set rules, shared responsibilities, and learned about leadership. I was assigned the role of manager on the third day. I felt extremely nervous, but with encouragement from the facilitator, I was able to perform my role. That moment gave me a new sense of confidence and happiness.

 

One of the most touching lessons for me was about saving, shared through the story of the “old woman’s box.” It made me reflect deeply on my life. I realized that if I had saved even a small amount in the past, I might not be struggling so much today. From that day, I made a strong decision to start saving, no matter how little.

Another activity, the “leaking pot,” taught me about unnecessary expenses and how small daily spending can weaken our financial condition. I returned home that day determined to reduce wasteful expenses.

I also shared these lessons with my daughters over the phone, encouraging them to save and be mindful of their spending so they would not face the same struggles.

Throughout the training, I learned many new things through games and discussions. Activities like “Small Fish and Big Fish” taught me how habits formed early in life are difficult to change, but with effort, change is possible. “Touch the Color” showed how blindly following others can lead to problems.

I also learned about my strengths and weaknesses, about business planning, profit and loss, loans, and maintaining financial records. Earlier, I had never paid attention to these things, but now I understand their importance.

While filling out my business plan, I could clearly imagine my future – where I want my business to be in the next three years. For the first time in a long while, my dreams felt real and achievable.

This training has brought a significant change in my life. I used to be afraid to speak in front of others, but now I can express myself with more confidence. I have built strong relationships with other participants and facilitators, and I feel supported.

At this stage of my life, I never imagined I would get such an opportunity to learn and grow. I feel proud of myself. With the seed capital support, I am committed to starting my goat-raising business and moving forward.

Today, I feel hopeful. I will continue to apply what I have learned and share these lessons with others.

For me, this program came into my life like hope – at the time when I needed it the most.